So, I discovered something the other day. See, I've been struggling with not feeling good enough (for lack of a better way to say it). "Why?" I've asked myself over and over again, "Why do I not seem close to God throughout the day??" I also feel like not much that comes out of my mouth has any depth really. I have not been able to understand it for a really long time, and I have been praying about it constantly. And last night I realized that the only time I seem to be close to God is when I'm with Him, talking to Him; thinking about Him. It's almost the only time I really feel, the only time things seem to make sense. Hmm, maybe that's why the Bible says: "Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." because the only time that I am able to truly live is when I am leaning on Him for life. And I have come to acknowledge the reality of the importance of living for Him every second because I can so easily put Him at a distance while I live my life for myself, and ignore the way that I am commanded to act as a Christian. I have to constantly seek Him, it has to become a lifestyle. Meanwhile, it's pretty awesome to be looking forward with anticipation to the next time I give time to Him as I learn to be with Him all the time, not just in "special times". I am aware that this does not happen overnight, but it's exciting to lean on Jesus for progress.

The road is bumpy, but oh how excellent and fulfilling is life with Christ.